So, below is going to be the second to last installment of my writings from my trip to NorCal. Wow, I guess as of this weekend, it will have been two weeks since that trip. In some ways that seems about right, in other ways, it seems like light years ago. That's a good thing, right? That it feels like time is passing so slowly? I think I wrote about that a few weeks ago... as long as yesterday and last week feel like they were decades ago, that means that I am taking advantage of my days and picking them full.

Right?

'Cause... I don't love it tonight. I feel like I've been in Ohio for a long time. Of course, I bet anyone living in Ohio feels the same way. (By the way, I'm in Ohio tonight. That will have to be touched on a bit later.)

I don't know. I'm not convinced it's a good thing tonight. Days feel long and without real consequence. And, while I know that's not true... I just had another renewed flame light up inside of me earlier today. I have more questions to ask and dig a little bit to try and find my purpose... but, today I'm alone still. I'm surrounded by couples still.

But, I don't want to focus on that. Truth be told, I'm pretty sure I was getting pretty good at not focusing on that. But, when I finally thought that I was getting the hang of this single thing and not being totally wrought with envy every time I hung out with my married/coupled friends: I come to Ohio. And, it's not that Ohio is filled with couples and I was fighting jealousy in every turn... in fact, there were a fair number of single people around this week. The rub came when the reality that my group was made of a majority of coupled/married folks... and, they've got a small percentage of the excitement/desire to get out in the crowds and meet people.

I felt like I was pulling teeth trying to get people to come accompany me to these concerts and mingling opportunities. Then, even once they're convinced to come, we show up and the cell phones get busted out and everyone starts checking in with their significant other. And, I'm left to circumnavigate the crowd as the obvious, obvious prowler.

Justin Hudec. Lone bachelor.

Ugh... I'm done. I meant to not write this much about this tonight... I need sleep... but, first, let's check in with Justin two weeks ago and be reminded at how he was doing. Oh, fyi, this is the second to last journal entry of the trip, but it is the last chapter I've written of Colin & Ryan. I don't know whether it's something I'm going to continue or not. I've got others brewing... but, again, feedback is always appreciated.


Part V: The Hostel Part II

So, I'm pretty sure the only reason I sat down just now was to bust out this journal and write more of the story. I know it's coming along just inches at a time. But, as soon as I put the pen down and try to shift my thoughts to something else, the next step to the story sneaks up and starts to form in my mind.

I know I am going to have to add transitions to make the pieces flow together... but, for now, I am just going to go forward on to the next part. Actual blogging to occur later.

. . .

Colin slammed the door of his pickup just as Ryan pushed his way through the screen door of his house.

"Dude, your sister sounded so hot over the phone just now."

"You're a perv. Why did you make me drive all the way out here?"

"It's time." Ryan said, straightening his red Atlanta Falcons hat so the bill pointed straight at Colin.

"Time for me to drive home unless you tell me why the hell..."

"Time for you to say 'yes'... to yourself." Ryan said, squinting his eyes and jabbing Colin in the chest with an index finger. Colin met and held Ryan's gaze for a moment before sighing.

"Good night, Ryan."

Cursing both himself and his friend for the wasted time, Colin reached for handle of his truck.

"No, seriously! Look!" Ryan jumped in front of the door, blocking his friend's escape. Suddenly, there were two tickets shoved into Colin's view. But, all he could read were the terms of agreement in fine, red print on the backside of the pair of tickets.

"Oh, shit. Sorry." Ryan passed the tickets from one had to the other to turn the tickets to face Colin.

"Falcons tickets? On the 50-yard line? Are you serious?" Colin tried to hide his enthusiasm, but his desire to see the Falcons play at home again matched his desire to find a huge nugget of gold in his backyard.

"Hell yeah, man. Monday night game. Two weeks from tomorrow."

"How did you get them?"

"Won 'em on the radio a few days ago. I knew you wouldn't believe me unless I showed you the tickets." Ryan pass his friend one of the tickets and put the other in his shirt pocket with a small tap.

Colin looked over the ticket in his hand. It may have well been coated in gold. He had been dying to go to another Falcon's game since that night that... wait. Colin's elation instantly faded and collapsed into his gut. Something wasn't right. Something was missing. It's not this easy.

Ryan was still grinning like he was going to burst at the seams when Colin glanced up. It wasn't an untrustworthy grin. But, it wasn't instilling Colin with great confidence, either. Then it hit him.

He looked down at the ticket. "Atlanta Falcons at Seattle Seahawks?"

"It was a radio program over the internet." Ryan kicked a small rock at his feet, but then the grin grew again from ear to ear. "The important thing is that I won it! We'll have to take off in a couple of days."

"What? No!" Colin shoved the ticket back into Ryan's hand. "You can't give me three days notice and expect me to take off across the country from you! I've got two jobs now, jackass!"

"Look, shut up... quit your jobs. You worked too much even before you got this new job at the movies. Just, drop your shit and come to Washington with me. You were saving up to go to another game anyway."

"Yeah, here in Atlanta! Where it's two miles down the road! Not butt-fucking Seattle!"

"Knock it off. We're going. I already said 'road trip', you know the rules." Ryan held out Colin's ticket once more, his own ticket sitting proudly visible still in his pocket.

But, Colin's mind had settled on an answer before the tickets or Ryan had a chance to sway it. Like a gunshot, the words 'Grow up.' dropped Ryan's hand, slammed Colin's door, and muffled the sounds of the truck's motor as it rounded the corner out of sight.

Fear.  So unwarrented, but so consistently evident in my world!

I'm staying in a hostel that was recommended to me for one reason.  Okay, two.  One was because it seemed like a fun option.  I have very fond memories of my time in hostels in Russia.  The second reason?  Hostel's are cheap.  Very cheap.  $21 dollars/night kind of cheap.

Well, the fist reason seemed like a very bad idea as soon as I opened the front door.  I quickly remembered that the reason Russian hostels were so fun was because I was sharing a room with five other guys who I knew moderately well from Fox.  All six of us were intent on having a good time and we all already understood we were there for the same reason and we were on the same level.

On this trip, however.  I knew I was the solo kid from Portland.  And, I knew that I was in way over my head having never done anything like this before.  The rest of these people?  No idea.  Of course, giving everyone the benefit of the doubt: I assumed they were all experts in their fields and all experienced hikers.  Probably not having communication with the civilized world in the last 4 months.

This hostel is essentially a larger sized house that's been converted into a traveler's refuge.  As soon as I crossed the threshold of the front door, laughter from the previously-living-room-now-common-room erupted as a half dozen girls shared a joke moments before I walked in.  It probably was something along the lines as "Im gonna mack on the next dude to come in the door..."

The woman behind behind the reception desk could not have thought I was stupider as I admitted that I hadn't been to this hostel before.  Or, any hostel state-side for that matter.  The dudes who are staying the night all came in their little 'bra packs' or with their wives.

And then there was Justin!

Granted, I knew right away I was way more badass than any of these people.  I drove from Portland-effing-Oregon, people!  We're the trendy, young adult, outdoorsy type that you all want to be!  But, holy cap, I've suddenly got a lot to live up to as the resident Portland rep.

And, gosh... they all seem so... put together!  Am I prepared to talk publically about politics, outdoors, religion, traveling, foreign affairs with the best of them?  What do I do again?  Admissions counseling for a Christian university?  It's like I have a big-ass target painted on my chest...

A glimmer of promise.  There is one older gal from Portland here, and she lives in NW.  We talk about our favorite things about Portland: the Saturday Market, PDX, the Max.  I sat down in the middle of a conversation between here and a dude from San Francisco.  Something was being spoken about Portland's public transportation already.  So, I busted out my political/environmental ace-in-the-hole:

"What's Frisco's publc transportation like?"

(Thank you Thomas Friedman!)

That conversation quickly sputtered and died.  Apparently the BART is not sufficient enough for the Friscan's to be proud of.  So, Portland lady and I kept chatting for another half hour or so until she called it a night.

I decided not to push my luck.  I made it through two conversations without looking like the total newb I am.  So, I decided to kick back with Kurt Vonnegut and tried to make myself look scholarly for a little while.  It was about this time that two of the aforementioned 'bras' roughly my age (probably a little older) sat down nearby.  They proceded to spend the next 45 minutes talking about "how hard it was to bluff in poker" and "the last time I saw Jenny we were totally drunk from those wine coolers" and "Sak's 5th Avenue was on 4th!!!"

Then, it degraded further into Magic: The Gathering and thats when I decided to make a written record of how incredibly ego-boosting it was NOT taking part in that conversation.

Granted, to be fair, shortly after the Magic conversation, one of them saw my Vonngeut book and had some intelligent things to say about the man.  This is where I am a fledgling, only having finished two of his many, many books.  We spent the next hour talking about our interpretations of his cynism, travel, literature, and Christian schools.   (He was put off by the idea that a Christian Admissions counselor could have long hair and a beard.)

I gained huge levels of respect for this guy who, moments before, been my inspiration for writing about how awesome I was and about how I felt "in, if not above" the hostel scene.

The same scene that I was weary and nervous of just an hour before!  When did I become so nervous about striking up conversation with people I've never met by myself?  I used to thrive on this trash (and, I was good at it, too!) but somewhere in the last few years I have misplaced a lot of my confidence.  And, this whole traveling thing and converesation thing is so much more fun with confidence!

...Tomorrow, I am totally going to hit on one of those girls...

Alright, so I'm pretty much right in the middle of my trip.  Right now the plan is to leave in the middle of the day tomorrow... and, I'm considering adding a requisite of stopping at every rest stop off the 5 Freeway between the Southern border of Oregon and Portland.  I dont think there are any rest stops north of Portland, so I'm gonna stop at every Oregon rest stop off the 5 Freeway!

That pretty much epitomizes this trip so far: why the heck not?  Most of the things are silly and trivial... but, occasionally they've been a little stretching and worthwhile.  I've been writing a lot.  In fact, I've been writing more than I have been reading, which is not my norm.  I've integrated the 'short story' into various journal entries... so, I'll be posting pieces of it over the next few weeks or so.

I will definitely be posting the thoughts from this journey over the next week or so.  I've done a number of entires, plus had a number of thoughts that I want to sit down and write on but won't really have the perspective or depth that I want until the trip is over.  Just, plan on checking in for a while here... 'cause I'm going to have a LOT of new material in the near future.

Here's the first entry in the journal I bought before coming on this trip:

Part I : Bear Country

I'm nervous quite often.  Thinking about the future, my career, my future career, my love life, my future love life, life on other planets, etc.  These things used to freak me out... and I thought that meant terrify me.  Like, truly scare me to the bone.  But, now I can definitely say that they 'worry' me.  I'm certainly nervous of them.  They concern me.  But, they don't, they can't scare me.

Now, even up to about 30 minutes ago, I would have said they scare the daylights out of me.  I would have said they terrify me when I think about them at night.  BUt, that's all been put into perspective.  Now, I know what I am really afraid of:

Bears.

Yeah, this whole 'exploring the Redwoods of California solo' and 'staying overnight in a hostel by myself' seemed so much more romantic before I saw the sign that welcomed me to the first trail I had planned on hiking:

"Bear and Lion Country"

That is, word for damn word, what the sign at the top of the Tall Trees trail said.  Right below that were a list of tips and tricks of what to do if you encounter them.

Oh, what do you do if you encounter them, you ask?  Well, first off, you pray to God that you meet 'one' and not 'them'.  While still incredibly dangerous, it is SO much more preferable to meet either a lion or bear rather that a combination of multiples of both.  But, that wasn't actually on the list.  Here's what was:

"1)  Remain calm - give the animal a chance to leave the area."

-This one kind of goes without saying, in my opinion.  First off, I'm not going to try and provoke this thing.  And, secondly, there's a really good chance I'm going to be paralyzed with fear for the first sixty seconds or so of our encounter.  This should give the animal ample time to 'leave the area'.

"2)  Be aware of the animal's location and slowly back away - DO NOT RUN!"

-(Yes, it had that in caps and with an exclamation mark.  Admittedly, it makes the command significantly more memorable.)  Now, this one is actually pretty helpful.  While I will be VERY aware of the animal's location, my instinct certainly would have been to haul-ass in the other direction.  I will do my best to check that thought should an encounter take place.

"3)  Stay together - pick up small children immediately."

-No problem!  This makes remembering the list a lot easier, 'cause it's only gonna be... me... out there...

...frick.

"4)  If the animal approaches, yell loudly, wave arms and throw objects."

-If I come across a mountain lion or a bear on this trail, there will certainly be yelling involved.  And, lots of screaming, too.  I'll have to do my best to remember to do the other things on this list.

"5)  If the animal attacks, fight back aggressively."

-What little faith I have that any of these suggestions have a chance of working fades immediately when I try to imagine myself executing this maneuver in the wild.  All these things sound very reasonable and tangible.  I even think myself a bit of a badass having this list memorized, and hopefully some of that badass-ery will transfer over as I try to intimidate some wild beast stalking up on me.  But, as soon as that massive claw gets raised to swing at my melon there is a really good chance that I am going to instinctively collapse into the fetal position.

So, I break away from the sign to try to convince myself that it won't be that bad.  My mind starts trying to console itself:  seriously, what are the odds?  (Damn you, math mind!)

But, then again... what are the odds?  A few hundred people, maybe, maybe die each year from wildlife attacks?  Five to six hundred people a year?  That's not that many... I'd have to be having a pretty unlucky day for that to happen to me today.

But, then again... another important question is: how many people venture into bear and lion country by themselves every year?

Five... maybe six hundred?

It's been a week since I blogged. Luckily for us, I wrote twice when I was traveling from Atlanta last Monday! Enjoy:

...

Someone tried to convince me this weekend that 24 was still ‘early-20s’. Sorry, pups. That’s like something people around the age of 34 try to convince themselves that they’re still ‘early-30s’, ‘cause realistically 40 is none-too-far-around the corner.

I don’t know if it’s because I’ve actually reasoned myself several times over the last four months that 24 is the true starting point of mid-20s, but being mid-20s isn’t bothering me too much. I think it’s ‘cause I feel mid-20s. I mean, still very much a stupid kid at heart, but thinking about SO DAMN MUCH! I never pissed away the early-20s with anything more dangerous than video games and world of warcraft… but, I’m definitely in the state of mind that if something is going to happen, it needs to happen soon. And, I think the mid-20s (especially the earliest half of the mid-20s!) is a good place to realize this.

Also, as long as I have friends who are older than me in their twenties, I won’t be too worried about it. Thanks, Andrew and Lexie! But, once those people I’m familiar with start hitting 30, then it’s really not that far away from me. But, they are still a few years from theirs which makes me a few more years from mine.

And years take forever these days!

That was only meant to be slightly facetious. I mean, I’ve been allowed to drink for over three years now, and really I’ve only been taking advantage of that for a year and a half of that, maybe two years. But, in the time that I’ve been taking advantage of it I discovered my taste for apple-tinis in college, beer in Moscow, and sampling of hard A’s in my current living situation. Sure, lots (and lots) of people went through the learning curve much (much) faster than I did… but, I like where I’m at. I feel confident, but not overly so… there’s still so much to learn!

But, there has been a lot of change and turmoil in my two years since I graduated… and that made the early-20s pass really at normal pace. Do I wish I still had them? Certainly. Do I think they got away from me somehow and I wasted them away? Certainly not.

I’m a little concerned about this coming year… it will be my first time being in one environment for anytime greater than 3 months since graduating (and, we’re talking about completing month 12 and gearing up towards month 24). And, my fear is that is the time of the beginning of stagnation. Picture, if you will, a bowl of recently microwaved cheese dip. Holy cow, maybe it’s got some jalapenos in it and when it comes out of the microwave it is piping hot and ready to be eaten.

And, depending on the size of the bowl, it might stay that way for a while. But, not too long after it comes out you start to see the perimeter of the cheese and the area around the handle start to congeal a little bit here and there. So, you aim the chip at that part and mix it up and scoop out some cheese… but, slowly and then not so slowly and then not slowly at all, the entire cheese dip starts becoming more and more viscous.

It’s kind of like that. I don’t want to congeal.

In fact, I think I can add another goal to the aforementioned Life Goals in my last blog. I was at the “Staff Celebration” at Fox just before I left for Alabama and they handed out awards to those who have been working for 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, and 35 years at George Fox. I got a little claustrophobic. I decided there that until I had my final degree (Lord willing, my Ph. D. in Astronomy, Astrophysics, something!) I would not work in one place for more than 5 years. Maybe just long enough to get recognized, a pat on the back, and a rinky keychain for my service… and then I’m out.

Oh, Lord. I fear coagulation.

Days like today help fight the stagnation. It’s not been an overwhelmingly amazing day… in fact, it’s been quite a long, dragging sort of day. But, the mere fact that it’s a one-in-a-million kind of day makes it stand out in my head as unique and discernable from the hundreds of work days that blur together after a while. And that mixes the cheese dip just a bit.

I’m currently on my fourth plane of the day. Now, I’ve been to Russia twice and Brazil once and England once… I’ve grown accustomed to the longer days of traveling and finding ways to entertain myself for days where travel consume every hour of the day. But, four different planes in one day is a new record for me. In fact, I’m submitting it to the internet: is it possible that there is someone who has been on more flights in one 24 hours period? Truth be told, I did all my flying in 15 hours… and two of the flights were over 2 hours apiece. If I had broken those up and added a few more flights to make it a full 24 hours… I could be looking at nine, maybe double digits! New life goal!

Not really, that sounds like Hell. And, while I can complain about this as a fluke of some terrible mis-booking on US Airways’ part (chalk another one up for why I hate this airline), if I were to organize a hellish day of ten-plus different flights that would be all self inflicted. And, I’ve better things to do with my time.

So, here is a brief order of events in my day (I know, I hate listing events in a blog, but I think is unique enough that I can appropriately use it to further my musings): Atlanta, Georgia to Charlotte, North Carolina. After two hours in Charlotte (and, if I may say so myself, one blog that I am particularly proud of) I boarded a plane to Tampa, Florida. Yup, back in the wrong direction. Two flights in and I was further than where I started the day.

Luckily, that was the last of my backtracking. I spent just under two hours in Tampa before boarding a flight to Denver, Colorado. I had some surprisingly fresh fruit from a stand in Denver and wrote about half of this while waiting another ninety minutes to board my flight to Portland. Now, I sit somewhere over southeast Oregon with a little more than an hour left before my feet touch ground and refuse to return to 35,000 feet for another month.

Oh, gosh. One month then I fly down to SoCal for my first time being home since Christmas. I am so eager to see my family again.

Being such a momma’s boy really does concern me as I’m looking to organize another trip overseas hopefully in about a year’s time. But, my family is truly the greatest thing I have going for me in life right now. No, I don’t keep in touch with most of them as well as I would like to, but I know they are there. Whether it means checking in with a short phone call, or resigning myself to moving back to Yucaipa, my folks will be waiting for me with open arms. I actually think they add a prayer for my eventual (but not too distant) return to Inland Empire every night.

Part of me wants to be obedient and respect that… and, if my folks moved just about anywhere in the world, there’s a good chance I would follow them… but, not back to Yucaipa. That was the unexpected price they paid when allowing me to follow my cockamamie dreams to Portland: I can’t fit my world in Yucaipa anymore.

At least, not the dreams of this mid-twenty-year-old.

Oh, FRINGE.

I dont know if anyone else watches this show... it's sort of a poor man's X-Files. They've done a pretty good job to date distinguishing themselves from the X-Files. Outside of the fact that they work for the FBI and it's a man and a woman (and one old man) investigating paranormal activity (which, admittedly, is a significant plot commonality) the mysteries they have been tracking have varied from the crazy roller coasters that the X-Files sent you on. Granted, the X-Files always felt like there was more behind the scenes, a large picture being painted that you could see one square at a time, whereas FRINGE doesn't have that strong backstory yet. They're trying, but it's coming up a little short.

I was about to knock this episode 'cause it started off as if it was going to chase after the idea of spontaneous combustion, and that's a little vanilla for the generally original oddities they've been creating. But, then they modified it a bit and added a bit of a superpower (unexplained, of course) to the main character. This show does a good job of keeping you asking, 'why?' It is filled with more cliches than I'd prefer in a show... but, I'm willing to follow it out.

I've been thinking about writing a lot recently. Truth be told, it's probably because on two different occasions in the last month it's been suggested to me that someone would read what I wrote should I take time to write something. And, it's definitely an idea that I've considered both over the last couple years as I egotistically search for the smoking gun analogy that describes the hopelessness, loneliness, excitement, anxiety, overwhelmedness, sloth, exploration, hiding, love, shame, desire that is life in the mid-20s.

Wow, mid-20s? 24. I guess that counts.

Eff.

I want to write. I'm going on my first official paid vacation tomorrow and this laptop is coming with me. Something is going to begin getting scribbled... I just don't know what.

Some years ago I would have been eager to write the next great thriller or story of wonder and imagination. However, the books I have been most influenced by these last few months have been ones that speak more to the magic of the mundane. Mundane. That's not quite the right word.

Or, maybe it is. The point of the novels has been finding the magic of the mundane. Wonder of the mundane. Disproving the idea of the mundane.

The plight of daily life is that we've made the word 'everyday' synonymous with 'uneventful'. More than that, 'boring'. More than that, 'undesirable'.

Shameful. Bad.

A Heart-Breaking Work of Staggering Genius does a fantastic job of that. Same with Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

I want to give it a shot... of course, expectations are low. But, at this juncture in life it's more for me, anyhow.